I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
