this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
