I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
