Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
