i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
