she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
