my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize