I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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