I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
