the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
