What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
