doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
