Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've blown a few things in my day
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
as a side note pls kill me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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