this beer tastes like vomit already
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
is it fun? or sober?
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