Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
