getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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