I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize