he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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