honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
