there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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