I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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