the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
