but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize