i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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