I heard we made out
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Randomize
