My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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