I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
