your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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