Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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