My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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