i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
