Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
