Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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