yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
