I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
