do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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