so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
