...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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