so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
