I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
