it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
