You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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