Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
