Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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