Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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