i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
