She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
