She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
