bring money and cleavage
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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