So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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