Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
