OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Let's paint friendship bongs
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
