She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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