the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
