hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
