he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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