I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
