he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
