I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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