Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
