So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
