ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
