I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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