Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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