I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
