We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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